Pattern Recognition

Hmmm...so, what exactly is a curmudgeon?

Most people think it's a surly mean tempered old coot. Often crusty, mmm I love a good flaky crust, and perhaps a bit of a miser.

Some infamous and contemporary curmudgeons might be Andy Rooney (60 Minutes), Ebenezer Scrooge (Any depiction before the enlightenment), and "House" (Hugh Laurie)

What makes a curmudgeon a curmudgeon? Cranky is a fundamental and foundational aspect to the personality. "Don't tread on me, or I'll kick you into next week!" might be a lovely sampler in a curmudgeon's home. Curmudgeons like animals, as they are only ever honest, whereas humans choose their words carefully and rely heavily upon guile to achieve what is generally a selfish end. I think grumpy with a flair for the disheveled is the mark of a true curmudgeon.

A curmudgeon is not a uniquely male phenomena. Crabby old women with definite opinions wielding brooms, cast iron skillets, or umbrellas, are after all, as intriguing. Curmudgeons make the world go round, their 'take no prisoners, but keep the kid's baseballs hostage' is a deeply held position that grows out of a desire to see some good manners and some respect.

So, when you try to climb over my fence, through my shrubs, pass my big dog, and onto my back porch to attempt to retrieve your out of the park home run baseball next time, just come to the front door, with a homemade fruit pie in hand, and ask for the damned thing back.